nothing much to say today. my words feel stagnant anf my mind is void of everything apart from one thing that plays over and over again.
i'm having a very hard time trying to find a word to describe how i feel right now... it's not really numb, though a cold edge is forming... it's not really apathy, as i care far too much. it's weird. deflated maybe? even defeated... i think i might have fucked something up and i don't really know how to rectify or mend it, but on the other hand i'm begining to think maybe it's not mine to mend. maybe none of my words can heal this particular hero's wounds... only his and his alone will write the story he chooses to belong to... but i do not wear this silence well. i'm starting to wear it very ill indeed, and i only have myself to blame. i alone chose to be the coy and cryptic gem on this particular, lustrous necklace.
this entire situation makes me feel that i am wide awake and dreaming at the same time.